Two men were talking one day. "My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the market garden," said the first man.

"So were you able to find some?" the second man asked.

"Well when I got to the market, I asked the gardener, 'These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?'"

The first man continued, "The gardener said: 'No, you'll have to do that yourself.'"

The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job. "Look Miss," said the foreman, "have you any actual experience in picking lemons?" "Well, as a matter if fact, yes!" she replied. "I've been divorced three times."

A man was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The neighbor kept talking about chickens being great creatures, and as such they had the right to go where they wanted. The man was having no luck keeping the chickens out of his flowerbeds, and he had tried everything. His flowerbeds were in a really bad condition.

Two weeks later, on a visit a friend noticed his flowerbeds were doing great. The flowers were beginning to bloom! So the friend asked him how he managed to keep the birds away. "How did you make your neighbor keep his hens in his own yard?"

The gardener replied, "Well, one night I hid a dozen eggs under a bush by my flower bed, and the next day I let my neighbor see me gather them. I haven't been bothered since."